Drowning

To be honest, I am blank at the moment. But somehow, I feel pain and suffocation. I don't know what it is. Maybe I do, maybe I don't. Maybe I'm just trying to run away from it all. I really don't know. At some point, I feel like running away from everything else, but there are times that I just want to be alone in this world with no other existence. I feel like I am already sinking in the water with me barely having any breath. It feels like I am drowning and just gasping for air.

Why do I feel like as though my heart had just been ripped off? I feel the heartache and pain, but I don't know what the cause is. Why am I feeling like this? I wish I knew, but I don't. Today seems so right at first, but when coming to the end, everything just fell apart. There was no goodbye, but just a walk away. You thought it was a joke, but sweetie it wasn't. Girls will always be girls, no matter how tough they are, their heart will forever be as soft as anything can be. And that heart of hers can easily shatter into millions of pieces without you realising it. Words can be the most dangerous and painful thing ever.

To say that I am fine, I am. But I don't know what the matter with me is. I really don't know. Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. But I think it is. Ever since that day, I keep having this feeling all around me. Maybe I am just being paranoid, and I apologise for that. But you don't know what is going through my head. Sometimes I just wish you could be by my side when I need you the most, but you're always not there. For now, I surrender..